Click to Skip Ad
Closing in...

Elon Musk makes people come unhinged so fast it’s kind of hilarious

return to space elon musk netflix

Some of you seriously need to put down Twitter and go pet a dog or something. The reaction way too many of you had to the Elon Musk Twitter takeover announced on Monday — which will mean the company soon losing the oversight of public markets — is to correspondingly lose your minds.

For my money, this Twitter thread from The Washington Post’s Megan McArdle was a rare beacon of sanity illuminating what was otherwise a dumpster fire of sky-is-falling-level freakouts on Twitter, in the wake of the announcement that it’s being acquired by the Technoking himself.

From Amazon’s Jeff Bezos seeming to wonder aloud whether Musk is a Chinese stooge (see below) to Twitterers tweeting all manner of “this way lies madness” insanity, we’ll get into some of the more extreme examples below.

Elon Musk Twitter reactions

As a quick reminder: My colleague Jacob Siegal has the details of the whole transaction right here. Basically, Musk has reached a deal to acquire the company for $54.20 per share in cash in a transaction valued at approximately $44 billion. His purchase is a 38% premium over the company’s closing stock price on April 1st.

Could this have been the distraction that Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal said was probably imminent (back when it was announced that Musk would not be joining the Twitter board, lol)? At any rate, let’s take a quick look at some of the more extreme reactions to the Elon Twitter announcement:

1) The “we’re all screwed in the end” lament (as if Twitter wasn’t to begin with)

2) Call this one the “if X happens, I’m moving to Canada” warning

3) The “even billionaires can be unnecessarily weird about this, too,” example

4) Musk is buying Twitter because of white power, or something

5) ???

What’s not changing, once Twitter is fully in Elon’s control

As far as I’m concerned, if anything justifies wresting the ownership of Twitter as far away as possible from anything that’s come before, it’s navel-gazing drivel like this (from none other than Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey): “Twitter is the closest thing we have to a global consciousness.”

How detached from reality do you have to be to tweet something like that?

To the extent that there is such a thing as a global consciousness, this silly website which gets far more attention than it deserves was not the thing that created it.

And spare me the pablum about Twitter being some kind of public square. Twitter is no such thing, and never has been. The dirty little secret that’s not really a secret at all about Twitter is the fact that this service is architected much like the real world.

If you’re big offline, you will be here. While, more often than not, ordinary users struggle to get the faintest blip of engagement with their tweets.

Do you want to know what’s not changing after Elon takes control of Twitter? This will still be a dumb idea for a product, the same as it was when it launched.

Perhaps we’ll all realize one day that it’s not actually a de facto good to be connected to millions of people around the world — along with all their stupid, mundane, racist, irrelevant chirping.

I was actually going to tweet about some of last tonight, now that I think about it. But I decided to, you know, just live my life instead.

Andy Meek profile photo

Andy is a reporter in Memphis who has been contributing to BGR since 2015. His expertise in TV shows you probably don’t like is unmatched. When he’s not writing about technology, he can be found hunched protectively over his burgeoning collection of vinyl.