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You can now not buy the Essential Phone in three brand-new colors

Published Feb 15th, 2018 3:41PM EST
essential phone

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The Essential Phone was supposed to revolutionize Android handsets. It was supposed to be the ultimate hardware reboot for hardcore Android fans. It was supposed to show companies like Samsung and LG that a pure Android experience is what everyone truly wanted out of their smartphones. Instead, it failed to sell even 100,000 units. It’s a colossal embarrassment for the company and top dog Andy Rubin. Now, the phone comes in three new colors that cost an extra $100. Neat!

Essential announced today that the trio of new case colors — ocean depths, stellar gray, and copper black — are on the way. The teal-colored model is available starting today, while the gray and black models will launch on February 20th and 22nd, respectively. Again, they cost $100 more than the other models, because reasons.

Nothing about this announcement makes a whole lot of sense. The company is touting the new colors as “limited edition,” but considering the number of people actually buying Essential Phones, it’s hard to imagine these things selling out anytime soon. On top of that, you can only actually buy the new colors through Essential’s website, meaning that you can’t actually see the phones in person before committing to a color. Oh, and they cost $100 more than the standard black or white colors of the Essential Phone.

Essential seems to think that the reason nobody is buying their phone is because they don’t want to buy it in either black or white, so they decided to release one with a gold border, a teal one with copper sides, and… uh… another black one? Oh, sorry, that’s Stellar Gray, which is definitely not Space Gray because that would be silly. Did I mention these cost $100 more than the exact same phone in black or white? I did? Okay, just making sure.

If you’re interested in any of these devices which cost $100 more than the price nobody was buying the phone at to begin with, you can take your $599 over to Essential.com and kiss it goodbye. $100!