Does anyone actually think Donald Trump is a devout Christian? If he is then he has a very funny way of showing it — after all, if you ever ask yourself “What would Jesus do?” the answer never involves trashing prisoners of war for getting captured, declaring that Mexican immigrants are “rapists” or insinuating that a woman only asked you tough questions because she was menstruating. Nonetheless, Trump insists that the Bible is his favorite book, which inspired some clever people on Twitter to imagine what the Bible would have been like if it had been written by Trump. Check out our favorites below.
There *is* room at the inn but Mary and Joseph refuse to stay there because it is LOW CLASS and a DUMP. #TrumpBible
— Ben Casselman (@bencasselman) August 26, 2015
Samaria sends us their murderers, their rapists, and some, I assume, are good Samaritans. #TrumpBible
— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) August 26, 2015
Scribe: Which is the greatest commandment?
Jesus: Sit down. Nobody called on you. Go back to Jerusalem.#TrumpBible
— Brian Zahnd (@BrianZahnd) August 27, 2015
Cain, Abel, both good friends. Cain got into agriculture, bad business. But he murdered his competition. That's leadership. #TrumpBible
— Benjamin Riley (@benjaminjriley) August 27, 2015
If I was Jesus, I would have made amazing deals with those money-changers in the temple. That idiot wasted a yooge opportunity. #trumpbible
— Charles Johnson (@Green_Footballs) August 27, 2015
Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization. #TrumpBible
— Jeff B. tried to do his best, but he could not (@EsotericCD) August 27, 2015
To see the rest, check out the #TrumpBible hashtag here.