Ladies and gentlemen, Donald J. Trump is your next President. Trump shocked the nation and the world when he decisively won Tuesday’s presidential election, and a whole bunch of people are freaking out. Maybe they should be, or maybe they shouldn’t be, but they are. The next four years of the country are now uncertain in light of Trump’s historic win — actually, the next four decades are pretty uncertain — and the American people have no choice but to hold their heads high and hope for the best.

Well, actually, there is another choice. You can take the doomsday prepper route, build a bunker, stock it up with all the gear we laid out below, and reemerge in four years to vote. Godspeed, dear friends.

Keep your gear charged up:

Hunt wild boar:

Start a fire to cook the wild boar you hunt:

With your belly full, live like the king of the wilderness in this spacious 9-person tent:

Stay hydrated:


Don’t starve:




Keep all your Spam organized:

And finally, protect yourself if everything goes to shit:


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