In anticipation of the Xbox One launch, Microsoft put up a “Doctor’s Orders” page on its Xbox site, for players to customize and send their own “doctor’s notes” via email to bosses or teachers in order to get out of trouble for sitting at home and playing Xbox all day. The text of the doctor’s note can be personalized to describe the medical condition that caused the prescription of a “heavy dose of Xbox One.” Whether it’s the Zombie Flu, the Roman Rage, the Irritable Battle Syndrome or the Xbox Fever (to name just a few), the only cure for it is the Xbox One. There certainly are plenty of games to choose from for the new Xbox console.
In order for it to work, this treatment will require “from 1-3 days to work” and then many years of achievements thereafter.
“If used effectively, Xbox One can help relieve the patient’s entertainment deprivation and will have an increased state of happiness at all times,” the note reads, but there may be side effects as well including elevated Gamescore, swollen ego, multiplayer matches lasting longer than four hours, increased heart rate, happy feet and twitchy fingers.
A sample “doctor’s note” for Xbox gamers follows below.