1. They start saying “whatevz.”
  2. They buy a Blu-ray player and try to rub it in your face.
  3. They know how to jailbreak their iPhone.
  4. They’ve switched wireless carriers more than twice in the last year.
  5. They hang out with P. Diddy, Michael Strahan, Just Blaze, DJ Clue, and Fabolous.
  6. They fear RIM will send ex-mossad agents to arrest you and make you live Canada in a secret underground testing lab.
  7. They’ve ordered something from Colorware.
  8. They stream Divx movies in their house over an Xbox 360.
  9. They use a UMPC.
  10. They insist you give them all your early prototypes.
  11. They’ve tried repeatedly to stump you with a tech question but never win.
  12. They beg and plead with you to rig your giveaways.
  13. They think the Palm Foleo was a bad idea from the beginning.
  14. They’ve tried to blackmail you using your secret identity as an upper-hand.
  15. They refuse to call customer care for any tech product until you assure them you don’t have a “contact” there who can help them faster.

Some of these are a little BGR-specific, but feel free to chime in with your own!