Cheating is an unfortunate but all-too-common aspect of relationships. It doesn’t always happen, or at least not as often as some of the more jealous types might imagine, and there’s no foolproof way to find out about it immediately. In fact, some affairs go on for many years, and come to light only when the government gets hacked.
So what can you do to find out whether your partner is cheating on you?
Well, the simplest answer would be to spy on that person, but that sort of action might get you in more trouble. Instead, you could try one of Business Insider’s seven ways of telling whether someone is cheating on you, all based on various research that looks either directly or tangentially into the matter.
Asking a friend is apparently one way to find out the answer. A study from BYU revealed that third-party observers often offer couples insightful details about their relationship. Research apparently suggests that simply by watching a couple doing something that requires working together, an observer will often offer hints about infidelity or unhappiness.
Thinking about whether your lover is cheating on you while doing something else is apparently better than acting immediately on a gut feeling. A team of psychologists in 2013 proved that subjects judging whether people giving testimony lied or told the truth were better at figuring out the answer if they were given time to think about the problem.
Since you’re going to give this analysis some time, you’d also better observe the language used by the other person. A study from the Southern Methodist University revealed that people who are more likely to lie tend to use words with more negative emotion and motion verbs rather than first person words, cognitive words or exclusive words.
In addition to listening to the words they use, also pay attention to the sound. Research from Canada indicates that men with more testosterone have deeper voices and tend to cheat more.
Silence, personal attacks and repeating questions are more signs that your loved one might have an affair. Research from Lillian Glass, a former FBI analyst, suggests that the inability to speak disguises a lie, while CIA veterans behind the Spy the Lie book said that personal attacks that avoid answers to a question indicate a lie.
Other things to observe that might indicate your significant other is cheating on you include sudden behavior changes that are a giveaway for duplicitous behavior, according to Glass.
Finally, increased social media use indicates that the person might be more likely to engage in arguments with partners, get divorced and cheat. At least that’s what a study from the University of Missouri claims.