While we’ve seen a prototype for Apple’s first driverless car, we’re going to assume that the final version of the vehicle will look a lot more stylish than the clunky minivan that’s been spotted on Bay Area roads recently. The Onion has decided to pitch in with its own Applemobile concept and we’re 100% certain that Jony Ive will never use it for inspiration.

BACKGROUND: It’s time to start taking those Apple Car rumors seriously

Source: The Onion

As you’d expect, The Onion has also made a list of features this Apple Car prototype will have, including “full vertical integration with Apple Gasoline,” compatibility “with most major roads,” a windshield that “cracks easily, though car typically still works fine afterward,” wheels that “turn into rainbow pinwheels whenever car stalls” and “a cupholder.”

Check out The Onion’s full list of proposed Apple Car features by clicking here.