Making fun of flat-Earth believers is pretty low-hanging fruit, so rather than wasting your time mocking the completely idiotic notion that a grand conspiracy is responsible for every discovery ever made by the space programs of developed nations, I’ll just start by telling you that rapper B.o.B wants you to give him $200,000 so he can prove that the planet we’re standing on right now isn’t actually round.

The entertainer, who has famously feuded with astrophysicist regarding the fact that the Earth isn’t the shape of a dinner plate, has started a GoFundMe to finally put the issue to rest. His lofty goal? To “launch one, if not multiple, satellites into space.” That will, apparently, be enough to convince him one way or the other, and answer the burning question that has plagued B.o.B for many months.

Thus far, the evidence that B.o.B has compiled in support of his claim that the Earth is flat includes such gems as being able to see two cities on the horizon at the same time, and the fact that full moons happen (?). That’s some pretty compelling data, so it’s easy to see why B.o.B is sold on the theory.

As you might have guessed, the comments on the GoFundMe page are a real treat. “Bro. I am totally with you on this,” one person writes. “But we cannot trust anything but our senses. The technology you’re using will make it appear that the earth is round because of the curvature of the lenses mounted on your satellite. The only way to find out if the earth is flat is by going to outer space yourself and ejecting yourself from the spacecraft, because the window glass would also have a slight curvature making the earth look round. Then you have to get out of your space suit, because the glass on your space suit will curve the appearance of the earth. So only then you will see that the earth is in fact, flat.”

You know what? That guy has a good point.

View Comments