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‘The Sopranos’ creator David Chase wrote a perfect coronavirus-themed scene

Published May 6th, 2020 9:09PM EDT
The Sopranos
Image: HBO
  • It’s been more than a decade since HBO’s The Sopranos ended, but creator David Chase decided to have a little fun recently and write some new coronavirus-themed dialogue for a one-off “scene.”
  • Two former Sopranos cast members performed the dialogue on their podcast, Talking Sopranos, which you can read an excerpt from below.
  • Visit BGR’s homepage for more stories.

First, we had the cast of Parks and Recreation reunite for a one-off, coronavirus-themed reunion episode. Now, The Sopranos creator David Chase has written an all-new scene (coronavirus-themed, of course) incorporating characters including Tony Soprano himself from the classic HBO mob drama — the first such new Sopranos dialogue written by Chase since the beloved series took its bow in 2007.

The scene (which you can read dialogue from below — and, of course, consider this your adult language warning) involves some of the major characters basically sitting around and talking about how much life has changed because of the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic.

Former Sopranos cast members Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa performed the dialogue on their podcast, Talking Sopranos. As we noted, the dialogue includes lines from Tony Soprano, but that shouldn’t necessarily be taken as answering the mystery of whether Tony met an untimely end in that diner. This scene also includes dialogue from other Sopranos characters who’ve been killed off, so it doesn’t necessarily answer whether Tony is part of that or not — but, in any event, it’s still a fun exercise and enjoyable read, regardless.

Vulture took the time to transcribe the lines that Imperioli and Schirripa read during their podcast. “Things are tough right now with all the bad news and things that are going on, it’s nice to have something to laugh about,” Imperioli said, per the outlet. “David thought it was important to bring some levity to the world, and he wrote these lines about the Soprano characters relating to the coronavirus.”

Head to the site to read the whole thing, but here’s an excerpt:

PAULIE WALNUTS: Man, people call me a germaphobe. Big laugh. Now all I’ve got to say is: See, motherfuckers? And I knew some fuckin’ thing like this was going to happen. I saw the Holy Mother at Bada Bing.

TONY SOPRANO: Sports betting? Fucking gone with the wind, along with professional sports. Me and my friends are dying over here. The president might have a point. Let’s get business and manufacturing going again — by Easter, May Day, whatever the fuck.

BOBBY BACALA: Yes, that’s all emergency. I took all this shit because I got my predictions about it wrong. They said Quasimodo, T said Nostradamus, my wife bought a Nostradamus book, and I looked and it didn’t say anything about this. Weird thing is, though, my son Robert went to Notre Dame.

JUNIOR: I saw on Fox this jerk-off, the lieutenant governor of Texas, said he didn’t mind dying to help the economy because he’s over 70 with some grandkids or some shit. Maybe we can help him out with that.

PHIL LEOTARDO: Truckload of hand sanitizer, I’m cleaning up.

TONY: In my father’s day, you got polio, tuberculous, whatever the fuck, you dealt with it. Whatever happen to Gary Cooper?

LIVIA SOPRANO: You know what I’m gonna say.

Andy Meek Trending News Editor

Andy Meek is a reporter based in Memphis who has covered media, entertainment, and culture for over 20 years. His work has appeared in outlets including The Guardian, Forbes, and The Financial Times, and he’s written for BGR since 2015. Andy's coverage includes technology and entertainment, and he has a particular interest in all things streaming.

Over the years, he’s interviewed legendary figures in entertainment and tech that range from Stan Lee to John McAfee, Peter Thiel, and Reed Hastings.

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