As the future President of these United States, Donald Trump will have to deal with the delicate issue of cyberattacks. So good thing he’s got a coherent handle on this tricky and nuanced topic, right?

Nah, just kidding. He sounds more like your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving blaming everything on “the cybers.”

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In the full transcript of an interview with the New York Times published today, Trump outlines his plans for cyberwarfare. And by “plans,” I mean faint ramblings about the cybers:

[DAVID E.] SANGER: You’ve seen several [NATO members in the Baltics] come under cyberattack, things that are short of war, clearly appear to be coming from Russia.

TRUMP: Well, we’re under cyberattack.

SANGER: We’re under regular cyberattack. Would you use cyberweapons before you used military force?

TRUMP: Cyber is absolutely a thing of the future and the present. Look, we’re under cyberattack, forget about them. And we don’t even know where it’s coming from.

SANGER: Some days we do, and some days we don’t.

TRUMP: Because we’re obsolete. Right now, Russia and China in particular and other places.

SANGER: Would you support the United States’ not only developing as we are but fielding cyberweapons as an alternative?

TRUMP: Yes. I am a fan of the future, and cyber is the future.

You heard it here first, folks: Donald Trump, who we’re not sure has ever touched a computer, is a fan of the future, and cyber is the future.

 

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