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Dell to employees: Take some unpaid time off! Leave if you want to!

Updated Dec 19th, 2018 6:07PM EST

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If you ran a very large company hurting a little in the midst of an economic crisis, what would you do? Well, Dell has the solution for all your woes and conundrums. Step one – encourage your employees to take up to five days of vacation time! The key thing to remember here is to not stress the fact that they will not be getting paid for the time off. You wouldn’t want to spoil the vacation by reminding them that they could be working and earning money instead. Step two – encourage employees to quit their jobs and offer them a little severance package with it, too! You know, everyone is all about instant gratification and while the severance package will cost you now, in the long run you’ll really be saving plenty of money. Even company spokesperson Jess Blackburn says, “The intent is to better position Dell for long-term competitiveness.” Blackburn then goes on to say, “We are asking employees on a voluntary basis to consider taking off (up to) five days … as unpaid time off as a flexible way to reduce costs for the company.” Really? Why not just make the employees work for those five days and not pay them for that time if you really want to cut costs and maintain productivity? At least they’re getting some kind of notice of possible “upcoming events” unlike the poor folks over at Tesla.