I don’t know when it happened, but I reached a point where I won’t care if you believe in whatever conspiracy theory you might be inclined to indulge in these days. Do you think the Earth is flat? I won’t argue or try to correct you. Go ahead, you do you. Live your best life. But I definitely plan to watch the Flat Earthers reality TV show competition that’s coming soon to a streaming service called The Network.
Why do I want to watch it? Flat Earthers won’t just get money to prove that their belief is correct and that the Earth is flat. They’ll compete against other conspiracy believers to convince a jury of experts that the Earth is flat.
As someone who believes in reality — you know, that the Earth is round — I’m ready to grab my popcorn and see how Flat Earthers go about it. I’m looking forward to watching grown people have their dreams shattered episode after episode from the disappointment of learning that our planet is not as flat as they believed. I also can’t wait to see these conspiracy theorists craft new conspiracies to explain why they couldn’t prove that the Earth is flat.
In one regard, this might end up being one of the stupidest shows of the year. After all, knowing the end result sort of defeats the purpose of a reality TV competition series. We already know that none of the contestants will be able to prove that the Earth is flat. Still, watching the drama unfold will undoubtedly be a lot of fun.
According to IndieWire, Flat Earthers is already in production at The Network. The streamer is making 10 episodes, with plans to release them this December.
“As we continue to deliver audiences free, premium content we are excited to announce this daring and genre breaking docuseries,” Aram Rappaport told IndieWire. “The Flat Earth phenomenon continues to grow on a global level. Flat Earthers will provide a fascinating view into the psyche of the human condition and what drives belief systems worldwide.”
Rappaport is the creator of The Network, an ad-based streaming service that launched in April. That should tell you everything you need to know about why the streamer is producing this show. The premise will certainly turn heads and make people want to watch. Look at me… I’m already convinced. I want to see people spend lots of money in fruitless attempts to confirm their belief that the Earth is flat.
The show is part docuseries, part competition show. We’ll be following five families who believe the Earth is flat. Oh good, I’ll also get to experience the inevitable family fighting that I’d expect from any reality TV show, especially a competition. And it’ll all culminate with five families having to come to terms with the fact that the Earth is round — or at least that they’re not smart enough to prove otherwise.
Each family will receive $50,000 worth of resources to prove the Earth is flat. They’ll produce their findings before a panel of scientists, theologians, and cartographers. If they convince the jury, they’ll win a cash prize. Interestingly, the prize has not been disclosed, but I hope it’s big. I hope it’s $1 billion. You know, to make it interesting. The larger the prize, the bigger the disappointment.
While we’re at it, I also hope some of the families involved will resort to anything to win. Well, not anything. But I’d love to see some of them try to cheat their way into proving the Earth is flat.
Since I couldn’t possibly compete in such a show, I will toss out my idea: Try to navigate to the edge of the Earth, prove it’s the edge without falling over, and then return home safely, all for $50,000.
Needless to say I’m ready to convert to team Flat Earth if any of the contestants in Flat Earthers can prove to the jury and the world that the Round Earth conspiracy I believe is wrong.
