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The world isn’t going to end today, because of course it isn’t

Published Apr 23rd, 2018 10:00AM EDT
apocalypse 2018
Image: Cubosh

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Well, it’s April 23rd and the Earth is still here. “Planet X” (or Nibiru, depending on your specific flavor of insanity) hasn’t dramatically appeared in our skies and the human race is chugging along on its steady stream of caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol that got us to this point. What does this all mean? Well, it means that, once again, self-proclaimed doomsday prophet and notorious con artist David Meade was wrong about one of his predictions. I’m shocked.

Meade, who peddles poorly written literature explaining how he comes up with his predictions that are literally never correct, most recently predicted that April 23rd would mark the beginning of doomsday. He predicted that Planet X, in all its nonexistent glory, would either strike the Earth or make a close pass, sparking calamity. Just like all the other times he’s been wrong, Meade released a statement where he — wait, I’m just getting word that… yes, yes it seems he’s changed his prediction yet again.

As if Monday wasn’t a big enough blow to the gut already, snake oil salesman David Meade came out with a new claim that he never actually predicted that April 23rd would be the start of the apocalypse at all. This would be a shocking claim if not for the fact that he does this every single time he’s wrong about his many false predictions.

Now he says he only really meant that today would be some kind of vague predictive marker for the future apocalypse. Yes, he’s said that before, and you can bet that when he’s wrong again in three months he’ll say it again.

Meade, who preys on naive individuals who place trust in his predictions, largely hedges his claims in religious texts. His formula is pretty simple: Grab an obscure Bible passage that says something about someone going through hardship, claim that the characters in the passage are actually the planets in the Solar System, and then say that it’s a prediction of the end of the world. Easy peasy.

Meade then does his best to grab the attention of anyone who will listen — most recently Fox News, who doesn’t bother to call him out when he’s wrong — and then promotes his book which he sells for money because… we’re all definitely going to need money if the world is about to end, right?