Last week, one of SpaceX’s Falcon 9 rockets spontaneously combusted on the launch pad while undergoing testing. It was a dramatic explosion (although Elon Musk would prefer to call it a “fast fire”), but according to the foil-hat-wearing corners of the internet, it was caused by aliens, or possibly a drone.

Grainy videos are doing the rounds on YouTube that claim to show a drone hitting the rocket right around the time of the explosion. At first glance, they are actually convincing: a dark blob travels right above the rocket as it explodes. Illuminati? Mars people threatened by Musk’s desire to nuke Mars? Or, just a bird.

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Let’s look at the evidence a little more closely. If you slow down US Launch Report’s video to frame-by-frame, a dark object can be seen going from right to left at 1:11. It appears on screen for about five frames. Assuming the drone/UFO/lizard transporter flies directly overtop of the 70-meter-high rocket, it would be about a meter wide, and travelling at 3,000 miles per hour.

To get such a small object to travel at such speed is very difficult, and leaves us with a few plausible options. The first one is aliens. Given that Musk is a) involved in space travel, and b) possibly an alien himself, this seems likely. The UFO would have been so small and so fast it wouldn’t be detected by military radar, so there would be no warning — and guess what, there was no warning. Coincidence? Unlikely.

The next best option would be Pentagon deploying its prototype rail gun to fire some kind of explosion-causing projectile overtop of the rocket launch. Again, not a bad theory: SpaceX is beginning to launch military satellites, pushing out the existing monopoly launch company in the process.

The military-industrial complex wanted to preserve its profits, so it secretly moved a multi-billion dollar prototype weapon from a government testing facility, set it up near a US Air Force base, and fired a projectile near but not into the rocket to cause an embarrassing explosion and derail SpaceX’s plans.

Of course, The Man already has a convenient explanation at hand. The launch was being filmed from miles away by US Launch Report, a not-for-profit run by…a US Military veteran. Since a telephoto lens was being used to film the launch, “birds” flying close to the lens at a normal speed and size will appear to be bigger, and going faster. A likely story.

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