A talented celebrity with a monstrous ego, a genius for self-promotion and a history of making ill-considered statements has decided to throw his hat into the presidential race. You may think I’m talking about Donald Trump but in this case I’m talking about Kanye West, the mercurial rapper-producer who announced his intention to run for president in 2020.
For those of you who missed it, Hollywood Life has a transcript of West’s entire speech, which culminated with the announcement of his 2020 presidential run.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna lose after this it don’t matter though because it ain’t about me, it’s about new ideas, bro, people with ideas people who believe in truth. And yes, as you probably could’ve guessed by this moment I have decided in 2020 to run for president,” West said at the end of his incredibly strange and rambling speech.
The only big disappointment for me is that West decided to run five years from now and not in 2016. Why, you ask? Because a Donald Trump vs. Kanye West presidential election battle would be the single most entertaining spectacle the world has ever seen. And yes, the results of such a contest would likely spell the doom of our fair republic but if you’re going to go down anyway, you might as well go down laughing.
A West-Trump race would be amazing because both men are essentially the exact same personality type. Need proof? Let’s compare Trump quotes with Kanye lyrics.
Both exhibit over-inflated senses of self worth
- “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
- “I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”
- “A lot of people, including yourself, a lot of people thought I wasn’t going to be running and I wouldn’t put in my financials. I put in my financials—they’re much better than anybody ever thought. People said, ‘Oh, well maybe he’s not as rich as everybody thinks you are.’ Well, it turned out I’m much richer.”
- “I am a god, hurry up with my damn massage, hurry up with my damn ménage, get the Porsche out the damn garage, I am a god.”
- “Jay’s favorite line: ‘Dog, in due time,’ now he look at me, like ‘Damn, dog, you where I am,’ a hip hop legend.”
- “Bow in the presence of greatness, ’cause right now thou hast forsaken us, you should be honored by my lateness, that I would even show up to this fake s–t.”
Both have a history of embracing wild conspiracy theories
- “Now, this guy [President Obama] either has a birth certificate or he doesn’t. And I didn’t think this was such a big deal, but I will tell you, it’s turning out to be a very big deal because people now are calling me from all over saying, please don’t give up on this issue.”
- “I know the government administered AIDS.”
- “How we stop the black panthers? Ronald Reagan cooked up an answer. You hear that? What Jill Scott was hearin’, when our heroes and heroines got hooked on heroin, crack raised the murder rate in DC and Maryland.”
Neither of them like being told what they can’t do or say
- “The big problem this country has is being politically correct. I’ve been challenged by so many people and I don’t frankly have time for total political correctness. And to be honest with you, this country doesn’t have time either.”
- “La, la, la, la wait till I get my money right, la, la, la, la then you cant tell me nothing right, excuse Me, is you saying something? Uh, uh, you can’t tell me nothing.”
Both have a history of saying sexist things about women
- “[Arianna Huffington] is a dog who wrongfully comments on me.”
- “I don’t have a lot of respect for Megyn Kelly—she’s a lightweight. She gets out and she starts asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions and, you know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”
- “Can you imagine the parents of Kelli … when she said, ‘Mom, Dad, I just fell in love with a big, fat pig named Rosie [O’Donnell]’?
- “Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke n—-s.”
- “Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? I put the p—y in a sarcophagus, now she claiming that I bruise her esophagus, head of the class and she just want a swallowship.”
- “To all my second string bitches, trying to get a baby, trying to get a baby, now you talkin’ crazy.”
But there is one crucial difference in a presidential election that could give Trump the edge over Kanye. Trump’s diehard supporters love the fact that he’s never apologized for anything. Kanye, on the other hand, has:
And really, it’s going to be hard to capture Trump’s voters by apologizing after acting like a complete jerk — if anything, Kanye needs to learn to double down on his ignorance. This is definitely something Yeezy will have to watch out for if he decides to start his campaign next year.