Ladies and gentlemen, Donald J. Trump is your next President. Trump shocked the nation and the world when he decisively won Tuesday’s presidential election, and a whole bunch of people are freaking out. Maybe they should be, or maybe they shouldn’t be, but they are. The next four years of the country are now uncertain in light of Trump’s historic win — actually, the next four decades are pretty uncertain — and the American people have no choice but to hold their heads high and hope for the best.
Well, actually, there is another choice. You can take the doomsday prepper route, build a bunker, stock it up with all the gear we laid out below, and reemerge in four years to vote. Godspeed, dear friends.
Keep your gear charged up:
Hunt wild boar:CenterPoint Sniper 370 Crossbow Package, Camouflage
Start a fire to cook the wild boar you hunt:
With your belly full, live like the king of the wilderness in this spacious 9-person tent:CORE Instant Cabin Tent | Multi Room Tent for Family with Storage Pockets for Camping Accessori… $299.99
Stay hydrated:Nestlé® Pure Life® Bottled Purified Water, 16.9 oz. Bottles, 24/Case $16.79 ($0.04 / Fl Oz) LifeStraw Personal Water Filter for Hiking, Camping, Travel, and Emergency Preparedness, 1 Pack… $19.95 $12.74 Save up to 36%
Don’t starve:Chicken of the Sea Tuna Chunk Light in Water, 50% Less Sodium, 5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 24) $56.86 ($0.47 / Ounce) Del Monte Canned Mixed Vegetable Spam Classic, 12 Ounce Can (Pack of 12) $49.95 ($0.35 / Ounce)
Keep all your Spam organized:Amazon Basics 5-Shelf Adjustable, Heavy Duty Storage Shelving Unit (350 lbs loading capacity pe… $68.32
And finally, protect yourself if everything goes to shit:SAS Safety 7650-61 Opti-Fit Full-face APR Respirator, Medium