You’re probably still coming to terms with the fact that you just spent your entire year’s avocado toast fund on a new Intel Core i9, but what if I told you there’s a new processor that’s about 10 times more expensive?

The Intel Xeon Skylake-SP Platinum series is not designed for you or me. For starters, I don’t have a spare $13,000 to spend on a processor, no matter how fast my Photoshop would be afterwards. It’s also got 28 cores, 56 threads, a turbo clock speed of 3.6GHz, and a power draw of 205W.

That’s the specs for the top-end 8180M processor, which is designed for massively intensive graphical and enterprise use. Even if you could squeeze it into a regular PC case with the requisite power and cooling, it’s not optimised for any of the tasks that a regular person is likely to use a computer for.

Of course, Intel isn’t a monster, and there are more “affordable” options. The cheapest Platinum-series chip comes in at $3,200, for which you get 16 cores and a clock speed of 2.6GHz. That’s far more realistic, and the kind of processor you’re likely to find in high-end workstation PCs, or possibly Apple’s upcoming Mac Pro and iMac Pro line.

Chris Mills has loved tinkering with technology ever since he worked out how to defeat the parental controls on his parents' internet. He's blogged his way through Apple events and SpaceX launches ever since, and still keeps a bizarre fondness for the Palm Pre.