One of the best things about Uber is that when you inevitably lose your smartphone in one at 3AM, you can call the driver the next morning and try and get it back. But as it turns out, people routinely leave things much stranger than a wallet in their cars, and are unsurprisingly far too embarrassed to come and retrieve them.

In an effort to make everyone forget about the ongoing scandals and lawsuits, Uber has released a list of the weird and wonderful stuff that’s been abandoned in its cars over time. To save you the time and trouble, we’ve ranked the items one a scale of one to “things you’d find in a Kayne gift bag.”

  1. Lobsters
  2. Hot Cheetos
  3. Bulletproof vest
  4. Mustard
  5. “Back massage device”
  6. Potted plant
  7. Taser
  8. Salsa Verde
  9. Tap handle
  10. Elf cut-out
  11. Corn hole boards
  12. Meat packet
  13. Valium
  14. Rose quartz
  15. Dog sweater
  16. Nintendo (we have reached out to Uber to clarify which type of Nintendo)
  17. Arm sling
  18. Sweet potato care package
  19. Paintings
  20. Your CEO’s public reputation and dignity

Uber also provided statistics on the most common days to request lost items (Sunday, i.e. Saturday night, leads the list) as well as the most forgetful cities and the most-forgotten items.

All joking aside, Uber’s lost and found is actually a good example of a place where Uber can eke out an advantage over taxi companies, thanks to better tracking of who gave you a ride, and an easier contact system. Just remember, if you contact an Uber driver and they come to you to return your phone, the company’s no-tipping policy does not apply.

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