Apple is on the verge of collapse. Its core business — selling iPhones — is in jeopardy. You might not have realized this, what with Apple having just sold more iPhones in a single quarter than it ever has before while raking in record revenue of $57.6 billion in the process. But it’s true. So says Forbes contributor Antony Leather, who has the distinguished honor of playing host to our “WTF of the week.”
In a piece published last week and brought to our attention today by a dear BGR reader, Apple is framed as a company on the brink. Its upcoming iPhone 6, which is likely the most hotly anticipated smartphone of the year, must have five very specific features if it is to “stay in the game.”
And what are these five key features that will make or break Apple’s flagship smartphone for 2014? “At least a 4.5in screen size – if not larger,” “Better battery life and rapid charging,” Class-leading camera with image stabilisation,” “High Definition AMOLED display” and “5G WiFi (802.11ac).”
The premise of the blog post isn’t even what we take issue with. Tech writing is a tough business, and you have to do what you can to stand out. Leather’s post had racked up a remarkable 355,000 views at the time of this writing, so it clearly served its purpose.
But the aggravating thing is that this already wobbly premise — Apple’s iPhone 6 might not “stay in the game” — is supported by four features that will almost certainly have absolutely no bearing on anyone’s buying decisions, and a fifth feature (a bigger display) that we know with near certainty is coming to the iPhone 6.
Can you imagine?
Gosh, this new iPhone 6 sure is nice but there is no way I’m buying it without rapid charging!
You know Bill, I definitely would have picked up that new iPhone 6, but it doesn’t even have 5G Wi-Fi…
Yes, I would like to return this iPhone 6 I purchased recently. At the time I bought it, I wasn’t aware that it lacks optical image stabilization.
For smartphone enthusiasts, the iPhone 5s indeed might not have knocked some people’s socks off, though it wasn’t entirely unexpected. As we noted in our iPhone 5s review, it may in fact be the least substantial “S” upgrade yet compared to the previous year’s model.
But let’s take a moment to let reality soak in: As “disappointing” as the iPhone 5s is or is not, it is almost undoubtedly both the fastest- and the best-selling smartphone of all time. Imagine what Apple will do in 2014 with a completely new design, a bigger display and more.
Apple will fall. The iPhone line will fall. It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when. It might happen in five years. It might happen in 500 years. Trying to answer that “when?” question is something writers, pundits and investors have been doing since Apple was founded, and they will continue on this merry path until the inevitable finally happens.
Personally, I don’t know when Apple’s iPhone will no longer “stay in the game.” What I do know, however, is that it won’t leave the game in 2014 —even if, heaven forbid, the iPhone 6 doesn’t include a rapid charging feature.